God's faithfulness in light of prayers and requests that either God does not answer or answers in ways we do not expect

I have struggled with having negative and suicidal thoughts in my life. I remember I would pray that God would just put me out of my misery and kill me or do something. I thought my life was awful and all I wanted God to do was take me out of the awful life and let it all be over. The prayer was never answered even when I begged that I would die if I took a bunch of pills or other things, instead I was alive and had many people tell me that I was very lucky to still be a live. This affected my life even more than what was already going on. My life was already messed up and it made it worse when God would answer my prayer and end it when I asked him too.
What I didn't know is that God was answering my prayer. I was asking him to take care of my life and he was he was protecting me so I would have a life. I felt like Abram might have felt when God promised him and heir and he had to wait so long, because I thought God would care for me. I got tired of waiting and tried to take it into my own hands by trying to take my own life. Abram also did this by have Ishmael.
After reading and studying this story it helps me realize that God has a plan and that even though we don't think it is what he plans and we try to make it our plan God will still have his plan work out in the end. God's plan is still working out in my life and I'm still learning to trust him and his timing.